Oh. And because I feel pretty.
For everyone who can’t seem to understand what victim blaming is, here are some examples of ‘real life’ incidents. Victim Blaming Scenario One You’ve been studying for a big test, and you know you’re gonna do well. You go into class, sit down, get out your pen or pencil and the teacher hands out the […]
Today my rapist got married – and yet today against all odds I was happy. I had a great day. Out of the blue the guy I like decided to visit me, he had no idea, but today was good. I survived then and I survived today.
I will always survive. That is my promise.
Today my rapist is to be married. Today the world comes crashing down. Today he wins. Today he beats me.
Marriage is something I’ve always wanted. I want that sort of love. I want to wake up next to someone and just..love. Love without worrying if they think I’m overly attached. I want to love someone with everything I have and I want to be loved in return.
But somehow, somehow, my rapist is the one who is getting married first. Somehow he gets to be happy while I’m suffering and having flashbacks. He changed my life and I wasn’t even a wrinkle in his.
1 day. In 1 day my rapist will be married.
I want to die. That would be better almost, wouldn’t it?
How is this fair. How is him being happy fair.
2 days until he is married. I cannot handle it. I want to puke. I want to cry. I want to hit something.
I want to tell the world.
But if I do he will see me as vindictive. I will be the crazy ex. He will think I’m trying to ruin the wedding.
I kind of do want to ruin it. Why should he get marriage while I get depression and panic attacks? While I get abusive relationships? Why? While I get sexually assaulted he gets happiness and no punishment.
I hate my rapist today.
3 days until my rapist gets married.
Images flash through my mind. I don’t always remember which is real. My mind is twisting. Confirming his words. I’m crazy