Punch, Hug, or Feel Sorry For? – dobbytheliv

Hey guys, I just wanted to share a short blog post my best friend wrote – twice now she has included me in her blog posts and explaining how angry she is about my sexual assault. I just wanted to share it with you guys because it took a really long time for me to find people who supported me. So hey, check out her blog, and just read what made me bawl.

I see one of my best and closest friends, her harasser/ass[a]ulter, and the school we both attend.  I want to punch the person that hurt her, that tried to touch her without her consent, because people like that are the lowest form of low, because people like that care for no one but themselves. I want to punch him because he got off with no punishment whatsoever, from both the local law enforcement and the college themselves.  I want to hug my friend, because I want to shield her from the backlash that came from her reporting him, the fear that overtook her so much that she was frightened to leave her dorm room in case she would see him. I want to hug her because she is thinking of transferring out of the college because she does not want to see his face again.  And honestly, I feel sorry for our school, because they seem to be so interested in saving face and self preservation that they will cover up something so obvious as sexual assault. Because apparently when someone tries to touch another person, and that person says no, but is touched anyway, that is not assault, but a misunderstanding.

Source: Punch, Hug, or Feel Sorry For? – dobbytheliv

 

Guys, maybe this seems like nothing to you – but to survivors? Stuff like this is so damn important. The first time she wrote about me it was maybe a sentence and still I bawled.Someone cared. Someone believed me. Someone loves me. It’s not my fault. I’m not alone. 

If you’re a survivor, there’s people out there who will love and care for you. Find them. If you ever need someone, let me know. Friends of survivors, let them know you support them. I can’t even begin to explain how much “I love and support you” means to a survivor.

-Bethany

I Love You for Your Screw You

Alright everybody, hold up, it’s bragging time.

Who am I bragging about? This fantastic girl named Liv. Liv is a wonderful person I met at college… not through friends or any of that, but through…dare I say it.. Yik Yak.

She and I became instant friends even though honestly? She had no reason to like me. She had heard horrible things about me. She didn’t know me. She didn’t have to meet with me that night. But she did… she heard me… she listened to me… she believed me.

She has been the one to push me to advocate for myself. To be stronger. To be better.

The reason I’m really posting this is because her ability to never stop making me feel wonderful and loved is incredible. Recently she got a blog and posted a blurb called “Screw You” which called out the nasty people in her life (not by name, just by action) and proved just how strong she is. It went like this:

 

To the person who told me I smile too big–Screw you. My smile might be big but at least it’s genuine.

To the person who made me insecure about my body–Screw you.  I hate my body, but you don’t have to tell me more about why I should hate it.

It went on like this – continually showing exactly how strong she is and giving a big fuck you to those who tried to bring her down.

But the end, I bawled.

To the person that sexually assaulted/harassed, and emotionally and mentally abused one of the best friends I’ve ever had–Screw you.  You’ll get yours eventually.

Against all odds we became friends and she believed me. She has been the strongest advocate for me, even against myself. But to see that she believed me and supported me in writing… broke me in the most beautiful way.

So thanks, I love you for your screw you. I love you for being loyal, ridiculous, crazy, adventerous, strong, willful, intelligent, but most of all for just being you, no matter what.

Bethany

Today…

Today I confronted my rapist. It has been 4 years and I finally told him exactly what it was. I’ve alluded to the fact but this time I said the word rape and I stood by my stance.

Maybe you think nothing of this, but this is a huge step for me. This man had such a mental hold on me even though it was years ago. He was mentally abusive and controlling. In some ways, he still is. He was the man who had me believing that I was lucky he was interested in me.

I confronted him and while he didn’t believe me, I was finally able to feel like I might be able to move on from that moment. I accepted it. I stood up for myself. I can’t change his mind and I don’t need to.

Today I am proud of myself.
Today I am strong.
Today I am more than what he did to me.
Today I am making the healing begin.

Bethany