Going Back

I can feel it. I can feel myself sinking back into who I once used to be. I thought she was gone. I thought I had moved past that, but I haven’t. When I feel lonely; when I am alone, I go back to that. I go back to being unnoticed. I go back to being nothing. I always think it’s my fault, and it probably is. So I’m quiet. I don’t want to be hurt again.

Trevor left, and that killed me. I tried my best. I fought for him. I begged him to come back. I apologized for things I shouldn’t have…and he left again. Josiah left, he got bored of me I guess. Jackson disappeared from my life, I probably annoyed him too much. Zeb ran away, he thought I was too much. Everyone leaves. Everyone has someone better… and I’m reaching that point where I’m going back.

I’ll be silent. I’ll be unnoticed. I won’t be hurt again.

Bethany

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