I’m trying to prove a point to someone, so if you agree, please comment and let me know. This guy and I are talking about whether or not it’s right or not to mock someone about them crying and being upset. This came about because this guy and his cousin were mocking me because I was crying and hurt. They laughed at me and told me it was hilarious. Now this guy thinks that it’s a good thing, and he’s proud he did it, because I’m “crazy and weird.” They both know I suffer from severe depression, and thinks like this set me off. The one guy thinks that makes it all the better, I on the other hand, believe it’s wrong. Please, tell me if you do or don’t support me. I’d like more than just our opinions.
Most people assume that having a panic attack is nothing. They think the person having one is over exaggerating what it feels like. They’re not. Panic attacks are the scariest thing to ever happen to me. It feels like you’re own body is betraying you. You can’t control or stop it. Of course everyone’s panic attacks can be different. For me, it’s like someone injected me with pure adrenaline. My heart races, my pulse spikes, my body sometimes even begins to shake. I end up pacing back and forth, hyperventilating. It feels like something is under my skin, even though there isn’t anything there. I can’t focus on one thing or another. My thoughts get jumbled into one big panicked mess and I can’t decipher them. It can feel like I’m going to explode sometimes. My panic attacks can last anywhere from 5 minutes to 15 minutes. They sap any bit of energy I have leaving me tired and feeling like my limbs are noodles. They give me migraines. Anything can trigger them. And by anything I mean anything. Anything from a dog barking unexpectedly to something stressful occurring. They’re random and come on quickly. I can’t stop them from happening and I can’t control them when they do. People sometimes say to “just calm down” but I’m going to inform you now, A person having a panic attack cannot simply calm down. In fact, telling them to can sometimes make it that much worse. Panic attacks are awful and terrifying. Panic attacks are not nothing.
I can feel it. I can feel myself sinking back into who I once used to be. I thought she was gone. I thought I had moved past that, but I haven’t. When I feel lonely; when I am alone, I go back to that. I go back to being unnoticed. I go back to being nothing. I always think it’s my fault, and it probably is. So I’m quiet. I don’t want to be hurt again.
Trevor left, and that killed me. I tried my best. I fought for him. I begged him to come back. I apologized for things I shouldn’t have…and he left again. Josiah left, he got bored of me I guess. Jackson disappeared from my life, I probably annoyed him too much. Zeb ran away, he thought I was too much. Everyone leaves. Everyone has someone better… and I’m reaching that point where I’m going back.
I’ll be silent. I’ll be unnoticed. I won’t be hurt again.
I’m falling apart. I used to think I was strong, that I could handle anything. But now I’m falling to pieces. Slowly I’m losing myself and there’s no one to put me back together. I’m alone, I’m scared, and I have no one to remind me of who I am. My family is falling apart, not that I ever felt apart of it anyway. My whole world is crumbling and I’m crumbling with it. I don’t want to admit that I’m weak, but I don’t see how I can be strong. I’m falling apart, I’m breaking, and it’s terrifying.
Hello everyone, so some of you might know that I love to ski. I probably love to ski so much because my parents own two ski resorts, one of them used to be a lovely place called Ski Denton (located in a small town in PA.) Recently the past two winters have not been very good for the ski business, causing Denton to have to close down for the upcoming season (and possibly forever.)
Here’s the problem. It was my home. This is where I grew up and where I learned to ski. There were seasons where I was there every single day that it was open (and even some that it wasn’t.) So this hits me hard, even though I haven’t seen a lot of the people there or been skiing there lately, it still is a place I hold very dear. This is everything to me, and I know…
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