It’s a journey

For the past year or so I’ve been trying to lose weight. Not because I wanted to be skinny to please boys or because I wanted people to think I was hot. But because I want to feel good in my own skin, I want to look in the mirror and like what I see, I want to take pictures with someone and not only see a fat girl, I want to wear clothes and feel good about what I’m wearing. But see, no matter how hard I try it seems that I can never stick with it. I’ve tried diet plans, name brand weight loss companies, working out, everything basically but I can’t stick with it. But it’s not because I don’t want it, I do I want it, it’s because no matter how happy I get about losing five pounds or losing even a pound someone else is doing better and it seems like it doesn’t even matter that I’ve lost weight. I get so tired of trying to look nice and lose weight when no one is going to support me or tell me I’ve done good. I can’t do it on my own and no one seems to understand this. I can’t just lose weight, I need support, I need love, I need someone to be there to tell me that five pounds is a good accomplishment, I need someone to congratulate me even when it’s not that big of a deal. Why? Because how can anyone want to do something if they don’t have support? How can someone get better at sports if they don’t have someone helping them along? How can someone do better in school without a little help? So how can I lose weight without a little support? People are always judging me, saying I’m fat or I could lose a few pounds, but when I do lose a few pounds no one is happy for me. So no, I won’t be able to do this if I don’t have someone to help me. I won’t be able to reach my goal if all I get in return for my hard work is more judgment. It’s a journey and I need someone to help me along on my journey.

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