Please, Don’t Tell Me Misogyny Doesn’t Exist

I’m sure many of you have heard about Elliot Rodger’s shooting spree. If you haven’t, I would encourage you to look up the story. I heard about it on tumblr from two posts. First post. Second post. Feminism and anti-slut shaming are a constant topic in my blog, and that’s what this post will be about too.

Please, don’t tell me misogyny doesn’t exist. 

I’m serious, don’t ever tell me it doesn’t exist or that there is no need for feminism. If you opened the link to the first post, you’ll see a collection of comments that were made on Rodger’s youtube video, which publicly proclaimed that he was going to “slaughter every single spoiled, stuck-up, blonde slut I see.” I’d advise watching this video with discretion. These comments are absolutely horrifying. Many of them are agreeing with Elliot, some are even calling his victims scum. Another said that he was helping spread God’s wrath on the sinners. Uh, one second. So because a girl doesn’t want to sleep with you, she’s a sinner? And..killing people is okay? Although quite a few said that Roder’s was a psycho and was completely off-his-rocker, the fact that anyone agreed with him is absolutely terrifying.

Elliot Rodger shot and killed six people, shot and injured seven others, run over four more and left a 13th with unspecified injuries Friday night as he stalked the streets of Isla Vista. (NBC) Why did he do this? Ultimately, because he was a virgin. He did this because in his mind he deserved to have sex. He was angry at girls for rejecting him, “the supreme gentleman” as he liked to call himself. So what did he do? He punished them in the worst way possible. He also said in his youtube video that he was the “alpha male.”

Hold up, so girls are required to have sex with a guy if they want it? Sorry, but we have free will over our bodies. You can’t tell me misogyny doesn’t exist when things like this happen. You can’t tell me feminism isn’t needed when still a lot of people blame the girls for this. I’ve seen people saying that the girls should have just put out for Rodger. So now you’re telling me that if I don’t put out, some guy will have an excuse to kill me? Sorry, but that’s complete and absolute rubbish.

I should not be afraid for my life because I reject unwanted sexual advances. Nor should I be put down for either accepting or rejecting them. It’s my body, my choice, and my right.

A couple of years ago I was a prude because I hadn’t kissed a boy. I was being called this from ages 12-14. Can you imagine that? A girl being put down by boys for not kissing anyone, and only being twelve years old? When I got my first boyfriend it was drilled into my brain that without my body, I would be nothing. So over and over I let a boy use me for my body because I believed that was the only way to keep him. I was stupid, and never should have believed it, but there are many boys who do act like this and no one sees a problem with it.

Later on I was then made fun of and called a slut because I slept with that boy. No one asked for my side of the story. No one cared that the only reason I slept with him was because he basically said he would leave me if I said no. I was stupid.

But how was I to know any better? My whole life I had been told that being a virgin was a bad thing. Then as soon as I wasn’t a virgin, I was laughed at and called a slut by the same people.

Please, don’t tell me misogyny doesn’t exist. 

Don’t do it. Because when I can’t make a choice without fearing for my life, or having to worry about people running their mouths about me, misogyny definitely exists. Please, don’t say feminism isn’t needed when people compare boys and girls having sex to a lock and key. You know the one, where if a lock can be used with any key it’s crappy, but if a key opens any lock then it’s awesome. Yeah. That. I heard that when I was a little girl. So from a young age I was being told that boys have more of a choice over their bodies than girls do.

A couple of years ago, I had it so drilled into my brain that anything “girly” was bad. It was so drilled into my brain that I quit wearing dresses, I forced myself to hate the colors pink and purple, and I even quit dancing even though I loved it. I wanted nothing to do with being girly because everyone around me acted like it was bad. Liking flowers and dresses isn’t bad. There’s nothing wrong with it. Not liking flowers or dresses isn’t bad either.

What is bad? Is when someone changes their preferences for society. It’s bad when it’s drilled into everyone’s brains to make sexist jokes and to deep down believe that the male gender is better.

Please, don’t tell me misogyny doesn’t exist.

Bethany

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