This I Believe: Insecurity Is Selfishness

I believe that insecurity is selfishness. Chances are everyone is insecure about something in their life, however it shouldn’t take over our thoughts and actions.

Society has become all about itself, myself included. I’ve seen this happen firsthand so much because of how insecure I am. I never realized until this year that really most of my insecurity was just me being selfish. For years I truly thought my insecurity was brought on by other people, when in reality it was just me being overly worried about what other people thought of me.

It was all about me and never about them.

want people to like me. What does he think of me? Do these clothes fit me? want to be liked. Does my hair look good? Am good at this sport? hope they like me. Am good enough?

It’s not easy to avoid being selfish, especially being a teenage girl. Society tells me that I should spend forever in the morning making myself beautiful. That I should try and get people to like me, and if they don’t then I should try and change myself. Not until this past year did I realized that I wasn’t just insecure, but that I was also extremely selfish. It wasn’t just a one big moment where I realized it, but through a series of small moments. Even though each of these moments were small, they had big impacts on me, especially when I think of them all together.

The first moment that triggered my belief about insecurity was when I met my best friend.

When I met him I was going through a rough time, and I was very worried about what everyone was thinking about me. I was sure that in their minds I was just another weird girl, or that they just didn’t notice me. However, the guy who would soon become my best friend saw me, and instantly decided I was the kind of girl he wanted in his life as a friend. He told me that I made such a big impact on him and how much he loved my personality. That guy also continued to build me up and help with my self-esteem. He showed me that people don’t always think bad things about people, and sometimes they don’t think anything of you at all.

He helped cure some of my insecurity and made me open my eyes and realize that it was just me being selfish.

The second moment that contributed to my view happened when I attended an orientation for my brother when he went to college. There was a speech given by the President of the college that really hit me hard.

The speech was about how many people make their lives about themselves instead of other people. It wasn’t about how being insecure was selfish, but it did talk about being selfish and it got me thinking into how when I worry about people’s thoughts,  I’m being a truly selfish person.

I really started to think a lot about what brings people to be insecure. Humans crave social acceptance. That’s why I always wondered what people were thinking about when they saw me. I spent so much time trying to know what others thought of me, and I never spent enough time trying to help them instead. I just wanted them to think highly of me, and didn’t really think about anyone else. The problem is that what they think and why they think it is not my business. My business should not be about how or what they think of me, but of what I can do for them. When I let myself wonder about their thoughts, it just becomes all about me.

When I wonder about how people think of me, I’m really trying to make the whole world revolved around me. I finally realized how ridiculous it was that I was so extremely insecure about who I was and what people thought about me.

One of my favorite quotes by Eleanor Roosevelt says “You wouldn’t worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.”

This is so true, people really don’t think about me as much as I originally thought they did.

Even if they did that’s none of my business. Not only can insecurity become selfishness, but it also can make someone very unhappy. It’s not easy to forget about other’s thoughts and try to focus on being good to them, but the few times I did stop being insecure, I was much happier. I believe that insecurity is selfishness, especially when we let it take over our thoughts and actions.

If we’re always worried about how people think of us, when will we have time for them. 

Society has become all about “I.”

want this. want that. need this.

To be honest, that’s only okay if you’re a two year-old. They can get away with being selfish, because that’s how two year-old kids are. But they grow out of it… Usually.

I am a sixteen year-old girl. I am still selfish. still want that. still need that.

Our society is based off of what we want. What interests us. Not what could be beneficial for other people, but for ourselves. 

There’s a difference between modesty and insecurity.

Being modest doesn’t mean that we have to hate how we look, it just means we stop thinking about ourselves, and start thinking about other people.

I’ve found that on the days when I can totally stop worrying about what people think of me, I am far happier. I have more time to write, I have more time to draw, I have more time to talk to my friends, my conversations are better and far more exciting. And sometimes on those days I get to do something special, I get to help people. Because I’m not focused on how this person thinks of me, or how that person thinks of me. I’m worried about trying to make that person feel good about themselves.

It’s not easy, especially being a teenage girl. Society tells me that I should spend forever in the morning making myself beautiful. That I should try and get people to like me.

I don’t want to be so insecure it consumes me. I want to be modest. I want to be happy. I want to be helpful. I want to care for other people.

I want to be selfless, not selfish. 

Bethany

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