Take a step back. Take a deep breath. First of all, is what you’re mad over really worth it? Do you even know what you’re mad over? Is your hate for someone bigger than God’s commandments? God says that anyone who hates another person, is a murderer. So what’s stopping you from letting go?
This is something I struggle with a lot. I’m the kind of girl that wants revenge when someone calls me stupid because honestly, my intelligence is about the only thing I’m confident in. I’m the kind of girl who wants to get back at someone when they spread rumors about me because I don’t have people to back me up or who know who I really am.
Recently I went through my first big fight at my new school. At the time I thought it was totally worth it to fight back.
I had made friends with a really nice guy who was in all of my classes. The problem? I found out he had a girlfriend, a jealous girlfriend. Now I wasn’t interested in this guy at all, I’m officially done with guys till at least college. The other day I saw that this guy’s girlfriend had a twitter account, so I tried to follow her because hey, when you’re new, that’s what you do. You get connected. The issue was that this girl had blocked me. I didn’t know why at the time, but my initial reaction was pretty much that it didn’t really matter. But then the glaring started in the hallways and to be honest I wasn’t exactly sure why this was happening. Then I heard that she had broken up with my friend because he had sent one snapchat to me.
I being the big mouthed, short tempered, immature little girl that I am, decided it would be a lovely idea to make a comment about how insecure she was. This pretty much started World War III between at least ten girls from my school. There were girls I didn’t even know who were ganging up on me saying that I had “stalked” this guys girlfriend and then shown him tweets to break them up. I honestly thought this girl was just making stuff up because she was insecure and didn’t like me.
Then I went to youth group, and the lesson was on revenge and fighting. Seriously, why does that always happen to me? God continually directs messages at me and it eats away at my conscious until I do something.
I stopped. I took a step back, and I took a much needed deep breath. And I apologized to one of the girls involved. She came into school the next day telling me how sorry she was, and that she had only been trying to defend my friend’s girlfriend. She explained to me that she thought both sides had been seriously misinformed, so I asked her to mention to the girlfriend that I wanted to apologize to her.
I’m seriously so glad I did that, because when I finally got up the courage to walk up to this girl and sincerely apologize to her, I found out the whole story. We both had been misinformed by people and neither of us had actually done anything to each other until the whole fight began. She had been told I was showing her boyfriend things to break them up, which someone had been but it wasn’t me. I had been told that she broke up with him because he became friendly with me, when really it was that he was talking to a bunch of girls and ignoring her. I was so sure she wouldn’t believe me or that she’d just make fun of me and continue hating me for the rest of the school year.
She didn’t. She apologized to me, said she seriously respected me and that I was a really brave kind of person. We even spent the rest of the time laughing and talking to each other. She admitted to jumping to conclusions and having a temper. I admitted to freaking out, blowing things out of proportion, and to saying awful things. Now, I think I’ve made a friend, which is seriously cool because hey, she’s not that bad. I also think I might be growing up a little. Apologizing to her had to have been one of the scariest things I’ve done, but it was so, so worth it.
I understand not all instances are like mine. But sometimes they can be. Sometimes you need to let it go and just apologize. Things with that person may not be fully repaired, they may not like you, but usually, they respect you for having that much courage.