I wish I could..

Tonight I was sitting down with my six year old cousin on my lap. This kid is seriously so important to me. He’s like my brother. I’d protect him with my life..

As we were sitting there he sighed and said, “Em Em.. Can you stay for awhile?” I thought he meant could I stay up with him for awhile so I laughed softly and said, “I’ll stay up with you until mommy says you have to go to bed.” He shook his head and said, “No.. I mean could you stay here with us forever? I miss you..” It broke me heart. How am I supposed to tell this kid I can’t? That if it was up to me I would, but it isn’t. How am I supposed to tell him how much I miss him too so he understands? I desperately wanted to tell him I would stay forever. That I’d always be around.. But I couldn’t.. And it killed me.. This kid means so much to me and all I want to do is protect him. Protect him and his little brother. But how can I protect them if I live three hours away?

I didn’t want to tell him that I couldn’t. I wanted to look at him and say, “Of course I’ll stay munchkin. If you want me to.” But I couldn’t. Because he wouldn’t let me, the man who says he’s my dad would never let me.. And it’s not fair..

~ Emerald

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