Why is this happening?

I shouldn’t want to cry because of this.. I shouldn’t want to curl up into a ball and hide from the world because of this.. So why do I? Why am I so scared? I thought I was stronger then this.. I thought I could handle anything.. But this.. This is too much. I just can’t.. I can’t even go to sleep at night without feeling this hollow, empty space.. This space where I can’t fill.. That’s going to be empty until you.. Whoever you are.. Comes along and fills it.. Why is this happening to me? I always told myself I was fine on my own.. I didn’t need anyone. I didn’t want anyone.. But now.. It’s not fair. I’m tired of feeling this. I just want the emptiness to go away.. I just want your arms to wrap around me and take it all away.. I want you to hold me close at night, chase away the fear. I want you to kiss me and make me feel complete.. I just want you.. So where are you? Why haven’t I met you? Why is it that when I need you most you aren’t around? Is this how it’s going to be forever? Am I going to feel like this forever? I don’t wan that.. I can’t stand that.. So please.. I don’t care if I sound weak.. If I’m begging.. Just come and take this feeling away.. Just show up. Just.. Just be around.. Because this is killing me.. I can’t take it.. Please..

~ Emerald

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